All of these things can be true, but we rarely acknowledge that out loud to one another. When my oldest turned one, I was mostly relieved to have the exhaustion of the first year behind me but also teared up a little when I realized he would never be in baby clothes again. Your toddler can be both cute and getting on your last nerve. You can be completely drained from being woken up 10 times a night by a baby but also find some enjoyment in rocking that child in your arms. The reality is that it’s a mix of good and bad, and often involves experiencing opposing feelings at the same time. The problem with a lot of parenting maxims is that they don’t allow for the complex feelings that come with raising small humans. Since my kids were older, the visit was just easier. I was also thrilled not to be nervously watching the clock so I could get out of there before naptime to avoid a total meltdown. Yes, I felt slightly nostalgic about how excited they got about the animals when they were toddlers, but at the same time, I was completely relieved they could walk longer distances and carry (some of) their own stuff. It had been a while since we had visited, and when I walked around, it hit me how different this trip was. My kids are now elementary-aged, and last summer I took them to our local zoo, a place where we went a lot when they were little. There’s something to be said for looking forward to what comes next.
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